Laura-Jane and I like movies. Beaches and Grease aside, our movie tastes share a great deal of common ground. In fact,  it was when I overheard her championing Death Race 2000 to her friends whilst out drinking one night that I realised she was a serious candidate for a ‘life-partner’.

Anyway, one of our favourite pass-times is to force the other to watch a ‘must-see’ film of our choosing that they have somehow managed to avoid seeing thus far. It was while introducing Laura-Jane to the wonder that is Totall Recall the other night that she came out with this classic example of how her brain works.

It’s the end of the film, and Arnie and his athletic, sleazy AND demure chick have switched on the martian reactor, been blown onto the surface of the planet, fallen down a martian mountainside and are busy having their eyeballs sucked out because of the lack of any atmosphere. Nothing too baffling there, at which point Laura-Jane says…

“This film is stupid. How come they fell down the mountainside if there isn’t any air? There can’t be gravity if there isn’t any air.”

.. and thus began a surreal explanation of how it’s the atmosphere that keeps us all on the planet because we are all heavier than air, of how there is no gravity on the moon because there is no atmosphere there, and how the people who walked on the moon weren’t kept from floating away by gravity, but in fact it was the lead in their boots.

Confused?